Some people have a problem of not speaking their mind when they need to. They let people ride them and use them for whatever and even when they don’t like it they just keep quiet and let it happen. These people are not assertive and sometimes (most times) one needs to be very assertive else no one would take you seriously and everyone would use you.
1. YOU NEED TO BE HONEST: Honesty really is the best policy and it’s necessary if you want to know how to be assertive. You need to be honest., not just with the people around you but with yourself. Start off by being honest with yourself and then everything else will fall into place. If you’re not honest with yourself you won’t be able to be assertive.
2. DISAGREEING IS ALLOWED: Everyone is not going to like you. This is what I had an issue accepting when I tried to be assertive. I wanted everyone to like me,. But listen, it’s just not going to happen and it’s for the best.
3. CONFLICT RESOLUTION MATTERS: Assertive people don’t start throwing tantrums when they don’t get their way. It’s about compromising and using conflict resolution as a means to get through arguments and group issues. This is what makes you a leader, as opposed to someone who uses fear to resolve conflict.
4. START USING ‘I’ MORE: You probably think this sounds narcissistic but it isn’t. Use the word “I” when you are talking about yourself. “I need__” or “I want__.” It’s about you.. So start talking like it’s about you. Using “I language” is a very necessary part of learning how to be assertive.
5. KNOW YOU CANT CONTROL PEOPLE: Being assertive is about letting other people hear your thoughts and views, however it’s not about you shoving your opinions down people’s throats hoping to change them. This isn’t about them., it’s about you. Focus on yourself. The only person you can control is yourself.
6. SET BOUNDARIES: Set boundaries for yourself,. What kind of behavior do you accept and what don’t you accept? That way you’re not wavering when you are encountering people and certain situations. You know what flies and what doesn’t,. and that’s it.